Conflicted

Conflicted: my life story, how are we supposed to DECIDE what we want for the rest of our lives? I mean, we don't eat the same food every day or wear the same clothes (this has nothing to do with my husband just my career). How am I supposed to know if I will want to live in Oklahoma forever, and be a City Planner-- FOREVER!! I don't. I have no freakin' clue. This daily realization of how ignorant I am to my own wants and desires is the cause of many panic attacks. I have two books partially written, and I refuse to finish them. It's not so much of a conscious decision as a subliminal decision of "I don't have time" or "I don't like what I wrote" or "what if no one else likes it" and I can go on and on. Quite frankly, both books are VERY funny-- yes, I think I am funny. I have a quirky sense of humor that the masses may not enjoy, i.e. a lot of people take a long time to understand my jokes and etc. I'm 25, which is OLD. Well, the oldest I have ever been (hardeeharhar) and I guess it's time for be to grow a pair and just finish one of the stupid things! In case you are unaware, passion is always shown through name calling (ask my youngest brother). I think that since I write so much at work, I don't want to write when I get home. Problem: I don't get to write what I want to and government grammar may have ruined my creative writing skills. Why the heck does everyone in government want to Cap Every Single Word Like It Is The Beginning Of A Sentence?!? If you are going to go into government, skip comp I and II in college, as well as any writing course BECAUSE YOU WON'T BE NEEDING IT! Back to writing government Staff Reports (see how they cap it!).